So I am reading another book called "Who Switched Off My Brain?" by Caroline Leaf this is not a big surprise but I would like to consider something she writes. She writes that a Dr. Aaron Beck believes that toxic emotions arise from three negative and incorrect beliefs that people commonly think, these being:
1. I must do well.
2. You must treat me well.
3. The world must be easy.
The first thought really threw me. I thought of course we are supposed to do well, what would happen if I did not try to do well, that would be no good. But at second look, if I stop demanding unrealistic expectations of myself I would be kind to me and my brain. Otherwise I find myself going through all the things I did not get done today, and thinking through all the ways I failed today or could have said something better. Been kinder, shared more, worked harder and then I just want to hit myself on the head and pass out.
So being kinder to myself and extending grace and mercy to me would be like being a good friend to Becky. I like this.
Then the next thought that 'you must treat me well' is definitely going to give me a headache. Cause we all know that life is not kind and nothing is fair...so I will continually be upset by disappointment when people are not kind either on purposely mean or just not noticing my needs due to self absorption.
And lastly the world is most absolutely not easy. Lately I have been just sit down silently shocked at how not nice it really is: tragic deaths, sickness, job loss, abuse of all kinds, homelessness, and the list goes on....and if you hear some people's story, its amazing how a bunch of really ugly things will just pile in on one person. Leaving me just speechless. There are no explanations, Bible verses or platitudes for some of the things I have heard this week...but there in the middle of the darkness I see a ray of light, just a trickle but it helps us to keep hanging on just a little longer and then eventually the sun rises again and we go on, against great odds the human spirit struggles on.