Thursday, August 4, 2011

Who is All Good

This last week God and I hammered out my beliefs once again...the topic was judgement... that I had judged some people as good. I learned that I was going to go crazy if I did not give up this belief because nothing fit for me anymore. So now I believe there are no "good" people just like there are no "bad" people.(You should read Max Lacado's "You Are Special" children's book, he calls them stars and dots) Feel free to freak out... I did...but I think it is still true and right. There are just people trying to live there lives and do the best they can with whatever is important to them.
If I believe some one is "good" I have expectations of them, and they generally fail to meet them. If I get really carried away and give them a pedestal and a title, they usually end up falling off and then we get carried away in judging them... such as happens to famous people in the tabloids. If I think some one is wonderful enough to follow and copy how they live, or worse hold up as someone my children should be like... all I can say is very bad plan...we are all human.
The only thing is to hang on to God and love those around me the best I know how...which obviously will not be perfect but will be human and real. I will choose to treat everyone with respect and honor, kindness and patience even when I do not understand their behavior. For I do not know what their motives are or what is going on in them to cause them to behave the way they do.
I guess mental illness has been on my mind lately and that it is an unseen handicap that is frequently judged as bad behavior... there are many ways it is exhibited. Some things that occur make me uncomfortable and embarrassed, because of what others will think or what something "looks" like or the unwanted attention it brings.
I have several friends that fit in the above category and as I get to know much of what they do and how they experience the world makes sense. They hold down jobs, are educated and operate in society with their hidden handicap... you really can not tell they have a handicap... its like there are quirks. As they share how they see the world with me my world gets so much bigger and less judgmental, so I am grateful to my friends for sharing their lives with me.
But before this gets too sunshine and roses, I also will say that it makes me angry that I was taught to think some people were better than others and that I knew what was going on. Sometimes I am very upset at the church and how I was led to think people fit in a box and if they did not then they were judged as not knowing God. Sometimes the news makes me angry because they present people as evil who do antisocial behavior without asking questions or delving into what really happened. It makes for a lot of "us" and "them" comments and ultimately me judging you... and back in the box I go... and the world is small, safe, angry, lonely, proud and bigoted. This world I do not like.


  1. interesting... people certainly do judge a lot of Aiden's behaviour as "bad" when in reality it is Autism. That being said some of his behaviours are completely unacceptable- it is not ok to hit someone, it is not ok to say horrible things... so although I don't see Aiden as bad I definitely see some of his behaviours as bad. Same goes for everyone though. And my own behaviours. Most people can just fake it better.

    I think I've always thought of most people as the same- we're all alike but some of us choose to do some really nasty things.

    I'm not a fan of the pedestal either. I've never seen the appeal of being on the pedestal... way too much pressure to perform. I suppose I'd rather people have low expectations of me - they could be pleasantly surprised if I do well. But like you said, high expectations are just asking for disappointment.

  2. Its interesting that you say it is completely unacceptable to hit someone... because I disagree. It is okay to hit someone and to say mean things to someone...when necessary. And this is what I was talking about, when the social assessing part is broke in someone and you try to give them rules to live by it gets very messy. Because if someone where to grab a person to harm him I would want him to freak out, hitting, screaming, saying horrible things whatever worked to get away. But this is the problem... some peoples emergency button goes off at inappropriate times and there must be understanding and compensations made for them. But we live in a world that does not want to believe there are so many quirks shall we call them? How do I know someones motive... so we stumble along thru life, doing our best and not understanding one another, but trying. PS Thanks for responding, I appreciate your thoughts.