Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Too Busy

Too busy is how I feel right now. Too busy to sit down and blog, but sometimes you just have to shut down the busy and evaluate and reflect on your own thoughts. My son Aaron turned 17 today. Seventeen years ago he was born, a ten pound 14 ounce baby boy, who ended up in the neonatal ICU because he had trouble breathing when he was born. I did not get to hold him until the second day when they took him out of the incubator. He was a huge baby beside all the tiny preemies. Oh well that was Aaron. He was born being able to hold his head up and by three and a half months he was on all fours. He has turned into a wonderful man and I am proud of him.

Well the plumbers came again today to look at the job of plumbing the sink and tub in the other house. Apparently it is a bigger job than I thought cause this is the second trip to look at it, and I think a different man is going to do the job. They told me Friday they would come and work on it. Oh how I hope so!!! I would like that hurdle crossed. I keep climbing that mountain of a house and one day it will be finished. It looks finished, but those of us who are involved know its not yet.

Tomorrow I get my housekeeper to help me clean my house, which is truly a blessing. She and I clean together and I am blessed in my heart as this older woman teaches me and encourages me in life. God has brought Sheila into my life and I can't say enough good about her. She is 69 years old and has some health concerns, so I don't know how much longer I can have her, but she has come into my life and helped me when I really needed it.

Also tomorrow I have my wonderful counselor Val come and she too has truly been another blessing. Just when I was about to totally give up on church, along came Val, and she has loved me and accepted my rage and pain and cried with me. There really are no words to describe that gift. It is really hard work right now to keep digging around in my heart and getting the garbage cleaned out, but I know it is for my own good. It makes me tired thinking about doing this tomorrow.

I also have been blessed by a young man named Jay, who has helped me build the other house in our yard. Without Jay's help and encouragement I could not have done it. Jon, my husband was busy with his work, and so I had to enter the world of construction and men, and learn how to do many jobs. I had the courage to keep going because of my friend and work partner, Jay. He has taught me much about life and God. I can't say enough about him either, and when I look around the gorgeous house we built together I think we make a great team.

Yesterday I sat in the restaurant having lunch with my friend, Cecile, and I was crying. My heart just got too heavy and full and the tears just came. I was very grateful for her listening ear and understanding and kindness. I am not sure what I would do without this dear friend either. Until Tara moved away we were the three musketeers...but now it is just the two. And we do miss Tara, its just not the same as in person. I have other dear friends who have moved away or our paths did not stay intertwined, people who I would call soul mates, like Gayle, Elizabeth, Victoria, Katherine, Carol and Audrey. I talk to some of them once and a while and some of them I never see, but I never forget how much they mattered. Sometimes when the sorrow flows over me I think oh I should not love so deeply, cause then it would not hurt so bad. But then I would not have all the rich, deep treasures in my heart. So I will keep loving with God's help and the help of the beautiful people He brings into my life.

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